always good theraphy, so why not some
Funny Weight Loss Quotes. I guarantee you that you find at least one
quote that will make you smile. If you have any Funny Weight Loss Quote
that you will like share, Contact Me . So Enjoy!
I keep trying to lose weight... but it keeps
finding me! ~Author Unknown~
I never worry about diets. The only carrots
that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. ~Mae West~
I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've
lost is fourteen days. ~Totie Fields~
Rich, fatty foods are like destiny: they too,
shape our ends. ~Author Unknown~
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose
weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate!
~Attributed to Sandra J. Dykes~
Stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
Coincidence? I think not! ~Author Unknown~
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second
is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.
Food is like sex: when you abstain, even the
worst stuff begins to look good. ~Beth McCollister~
Food has replaced sex in my life; now, I can't
even get into my own pants. ~Author Unknown~
If you really want to be depressed, weigh
yourself in grams ~Jason Love~
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat
cells live forever. ~Author Unknown~
The second day of a diet is always
the first. By the second day, you're off it. ~Jackie Gleason~
You know it's time to diet when you push away
from the table and the table moves. ~Quoted in The Cockle Bur~
Dieters live life in the fasting lane. ~Author
My advice if you insist on slimming: Eat as
much as you like - just don't swallow it. ~Harry Secombe~
I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food.
I'm in shape. Round is a shape... isn't it?
I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs
kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
Inside me there is a thin person struggling to
get out, but I can usually sedate her with four or five cupcakes.
Every time I get the urge to exercise, I lie
down till the feeling passes.
"At my gym they have free weights, so I took
them." ~Steve Smith~
The only exercise I get is jumping to
What runs but never gets tired? Water.
A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. I
want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat
this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you will have
lost at least five pounds. When the blonde returns,
she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says.
"Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nods. "I'll tell you,
though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From
hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor. "No, from skipping." ~Submitted by
You will not find anything healthful in the
vending machine. Even if the machine has something healthful, you will
not see it.
If your snack gets stuck in the vending
machine, be thankful. You will burn a few calories shaking the machine.
And if the machine falls on you, you will probably be thinner.
Eating a lot of low-fat pies is a good way to
get high-fat thighs.
It is better to count calories than to count
Candy is not good for you, so stop flirting
Limit your intake of dates and nuts, as well as
your desire to date nuts.
You cannot eat just one piece of chocolate,
unless it is the last piece in the country.
Drinking three glasses of water before every
meal will help you lose weight, because you will burn a lot of calories
running to the bathroom.
Joining a fitness club is a good idea, but only
if you go to it. Just remember: The club has only one guarantee, that
you will pay a monthly fee.