: Funny Weight Loss Quotes
Funny Weight Loss Quotes
- I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat."
~Jennifer Greene Duncan~
- "I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short."
- "You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."
- I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
- Self delusion is pulling in your stomach when you step on the scales.
- As I ramble through life, whatever be my goal, I will unfortunately keep my eye upon the doughnut and not upon the whole.
- My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
- I bought a talking refrigerator that said "Oink" every time I opened the door. It made me hungry for pork chops.
- She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."
- When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because that Raid really doesn't taste that bad.
- In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and cahins. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale.
- A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
- If nature had intended our skeletons to be visible it would have put them on the outside of our bodies.
- Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.