Funny Weight Loss Quotes

I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat." ~Jennifer Greene Duncan~

"I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short." ~Shelley Winters~

"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is." ~Ellen Degeneres~

I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962. ~Rita Rudner~

Self delusion is pulling in your stomach when you step on the scales. ~Paul Sweeney~

As I ramble through life, whatever be my goal, I will unfortunately keep my eye upon the doughnut and not upon the whole. ~Wendy Wasserstein~

My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat. ~Henny Youngman~

I bought a talking refrigerator that said "Oink" every time I opened the door. It made me hungry for pork chops. ~Marie Mott~

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when." ~P.G. Wodehouse~

When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because that Raid really doesn't taste that bad. ~Janette Barber~

In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and cahins. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale. ~Stephen Phillips~

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. ~Author Unknown~

If nature had intended our skeletons to be visible it would have put them on the outside of our bodies. ~Elmer Rice~

Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge. ~Don Kardong~